If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Houston, we have a squirter
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
