dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
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Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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