Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.