I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.