We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now