well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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