accomplished twins. life is a go
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Did I show you my penis last night?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
tell me about the fingering
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
