Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
