he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
