He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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