In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
