if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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