I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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