My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
