there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
