It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
