Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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