Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
please come you make the beer taste better
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
