well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
