Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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