What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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