R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize