I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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