Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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