i just made my gag reflex go away.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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