How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
