I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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