Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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