I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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