I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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