chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i drank out of a bidet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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