oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
