i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
