All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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