Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
