she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
