On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
