He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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