Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
