I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
