she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize