All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
