Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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