I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You pole danced in your parka.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
