i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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