i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
