I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
