i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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