I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
