So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
