About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
