He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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