I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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