erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
