Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
