I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
