I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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