Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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