I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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