.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
