I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
well, you know. whores of a feather.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
