The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.