There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
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I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"