thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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