Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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