Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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