we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
